i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
