I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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