i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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