Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
