Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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