Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
