someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
