He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
only you would photoshop your dick
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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