Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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