i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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