I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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