Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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