I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
