I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
