finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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