Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i believe in u and ur pee
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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