You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
