I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
