so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
