There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
