I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
