thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
