The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
