Where did you get a picture of my penis
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
