oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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