worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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