The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm too high and old for this...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
