Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you had me at cake vodka
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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