Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
