my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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