Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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