Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
