But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Let's paint friendship bongs
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
