I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
