SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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