I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
