names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
