just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
