Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
