I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
