matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
