I wish I only lived at night.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
