our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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