I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
