Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
