I wish I could punch you in the face.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There r osticjed everywhere
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
