Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
