I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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