let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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