Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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