they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
