Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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