i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize