I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
