she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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