turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
