Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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