Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
