it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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