Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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