But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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